Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Enjoying the break.

Today was the first day since I can remember that Ashton hasn't thrown up. I'm really hoping this will stick. It is so dang hard to see him sick every morning, especially since that was the problem he had in the first place which led us to this horrible nightmare. Of course I have been worried sick that the vomiting may be a sign that the tumor is returning but the dr.s have reassured me it is completely normal. He is still feeling the effects of radiation and the last doses he received were right on the tumor site so that is one of the main reasons he will feel icky. They also told me, and I'm sorry if I mentioned this before already, but they told us that Ashton will always be a person who throws up easily. Due to the tumor and surgery, he will vomit much more then the normal person does. If my other kids get the stomach flu and throw up a few times, Ashton will get it and vomit over and over. I really feel sad about that because I've told him that his sick feelings will go away soon. Shortly after surgery I told him that it was the bump in his head making him sick and the dr. took it out so he wont throw up anymore. Now I don't know what to say.

It feels so incredibly good to sort of be back to normal day to day life. Of course we have clinic visits once a week, and we had a small scare this weekend. Ashton caught a bug from my other kids and got a fever. We had to take him to the ER at Stanford, which wasn't a very fun experience. They had to poke him a couple of times to test for bacteria in the blood, which he didn't have, of course. They also had to check his white blood cell count to make sure he was able to fight off this virus, and he was ok so we didn't have to be admitted. It is just such a bummer to have to be going through all of this. I have been having some "why him" feelings lately and been feeling pretty sad. I just want this to be all behind us so badly.

Next week is a biggie. On Monday Ashton has a hearing test, on Tuesday he has a lumbar puncture to check his spinal fluid for cancer cells, and Friday is the MRI which will tell us if the tumors are gone. I am scared to death. He will have to be put under for the lumbar puncture and the MRI....poor little guy. I am desperately hoping that his tests will be all clear. Thats what the dr.s really want to see but, we were told last Monday that if there is still cancer in him, they will use that as a baseline for treatment. Meaning, if he isn't all clear, it can still be taken care of with the chemo. He starts his first cycle of chemo on March 10th and he will stay in the hospital for 2 days and 2 nights. Of course I will be staying with him.

Other then all the stressing I am doing, I'm really enjoying this time we have together. Cassidy has just started softball and I can't wait for games to start and for Ashton to be able to come and watch her. I have no idea what the chemo will do to him regarding side effects and such. I do hope he will feel well enough most of the time to enjoy the little things. Please send all the postive thoughts you all can for Ashton to have a clean scan and LP. I will update this blog as soon as we know the results.

No comments: